Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just googled if crying burns calories
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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