I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
