I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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