You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
