i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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