He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
this hospital has no fireball
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize