haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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