we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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