He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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