i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
