just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
