I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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