Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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