This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
