My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
