so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
