Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
