She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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