i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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