Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
should my penis look like a turkey
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
