I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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