I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
