is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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