it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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