she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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