Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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