Christians are straight up FREAKS
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
