Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
