I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
