I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
