My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
