He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize