I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize