i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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