I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
