lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How does one acquire holy water?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
