Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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