The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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