If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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