It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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