I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
