end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
