Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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