The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
