dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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