Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.

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(832): i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life. http://tfl.nu/0m3z

Replies (29) Good night (1599) Bad night (3302)
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(541): View more from Oregon

at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.

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(541): at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard. http://tfl.nu/6ebl

Replies (19) Good night (7032) Bad night (648)
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(313): View more from Michigan

The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

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(313): The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car http://tfl.nu/lq42

Replies (40) Good night (4949) Bad night (1291)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.

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(304): just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement. http://tfl.nu/6va8

Replies (20) Good night (4813) Bad night (1004)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.

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(780): She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile. http://tfl.nu/gnnf

Replies (12) Good night (6303) Bad night (924)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.

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(724): Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that. http://tfl.nu/gvw5

Replies (8) Good night (2052) Bad night (1119)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.

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(612): What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains. http://tfl.nu/eu34

Replies (5) Good night (1833) Bad night (783)
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(360): View more from Washington

well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home

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(360): well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home http://tfl.nu/1sb0

Replies (8) Good night (2851) Bad night (734)
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(360): View more from Washington

She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

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(360): She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake. http://tfl.nu/n9ny

Replies (7) Good night (492) Bad night (902)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

(712): View more from Iowa

What's an angry pirate?

(702): View more from Nevada

You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

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(702): I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again. (712): What's an angry pirate? (702): You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/pzvl

Replies (32) Good night (1250) Bad night (1715)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?

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(505): I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet? http://tfl.nu/aavq

Replies (9) Good night (1968) Bad night (790)
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(807): View more from Ontario

She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.

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(807): She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other. http://tfl.nu/8wn6

Replies (16) Good night (1359) Bad night (633)
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(410): View more from Maryland

The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.

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(410): The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day. http://tfl.nu/gmm1

Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (294)
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(425): View more from Washington

You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects

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(425): You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects http://tfl.nu/xrwr

Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (277)
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(323): View more from California

The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"

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(323): The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role" http://tfl.nu/uhmh

Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (185)

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