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At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
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