whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?