I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
