Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
