dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
