Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
