Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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