Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
