That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
