David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize