Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
