yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
