Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
