You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
