My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
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Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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