i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
