apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
