I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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