I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
