Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize