Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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