Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Terrible idea I love it
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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