But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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