Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
