Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Damn victory sex feels great
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
do nipples grow back?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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