how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
