it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Two words: blizzard sex
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
