So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
