My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You made out with two different species that night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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