Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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