I love black thongs
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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